I’ve been married for five years. To the same woman. I’ve wanted to divorce her at times. She’s wanted to divorce me at times. But one great thing about marriage, when it’s entered by regular folks, in good faith, is that it’s hard to exit. It costs money. You have to talk to lawyers during business hours except whoops—you have a job that you need to earn money to buy food and pants—so when are you going to both take the time to do that? By the time you’d have gotten around to it, you’ve forgiven each other and maybe even reached a new appreciation for each other as you worked through whatever seemingly insurmountable problem made you hate each other for 20 minutes while you sat in your shitty car outside a CVS yelling at each other and crying.
Rob Delaney (via sethjones)

Pretty sure this is from my open letter to Kim Kardashian about suing her for divorcing that basketball player she married for 20 minutes. Just reposting since my wife and I have now been married for eight years and have two kids. That’s nice.


forcingit asked:

Do you do autographs and photos and such after shows? I'm coming tonight and want to correctly place my hopes on the spectrum of artist hang-out-iness.

johndarnielle answered:

These days I come out and sign stuff for sure, and I enjoy it more than I can say. It is great to say hello, I get a real boost from being able to really connect. I dislike having my picture taken; I end up consenting to pictures all the time, but I feel like I’m not being too too ornery of a person if I let people know how I actually feel, which is that I don’t like being photographed. I also get that people want pictures and that it’s sometimes important to them, so I want to be accommodating about it, because it’s in my nature to want to make people happy. So I figure a decent balance is to say, I’m up for it, theoretically, if it’s really important to you, but if my comfort’s of interest, the truth is I’ve hated being photographed all my life and wish there were some way of getting people to share my feeling that JD is best when there’s no pictures. 

Funny, my main objection to pictures after shows is that most people don’t know how to use their own cameras/phones, thus it takes a long time for them or the person they’ve given their camera/phone to to take a picture, thereby making the whole meet & greet take MUCH longer, leading to other lovely fans/friends having to wait longer, pay their babysitter more, etc. So I sort of feel like *I’m* theoretically happy to do pictures, the overall quality of the meet & greet for those waiting in line decreases because the average citizen understands how their own cellphone camera works exactly as well as I understand how my pancreas works.