This will interest nobody but super Twitter nerds, but enough people ask me about it that I thought I’d do a wee post. Sometimes I repeat jokes on Twitter. This bothers some people. Granted, they are shit-breathed garbage people, as demonstrated by their taking the mental & caloric effort to write me about it, but 25 shit-breathed garbage people almost add up to one real person, so I thought I’d address them. First thought: Fuck you 500,000 times. Please very aggressively lick the folds of my aging scrotum. Twitter is free and I reserve the right to have my next 800 posts be the same carrot cake recipe that your mom enjoyed after I fucked her, while your dad watched and coached me on what she likes.
Second: I think it’s fair and accurate to say that I love Twitter, as much as you can love a website. It has made me a better writer and brought me amazing career opportunities. That said, it is, for me, primarily a tool. I use it to workshop jokes for standup. On stage I tell the same jokes more than once. Why the fuck wouldn’t I? I want them to be as funny as possible, and the more you workshop them, the richer, more detailed, more economic, and more nuanced they can become. So if a tweet that I wrote a while back bubbles up in my mind again, I will often post it. Just because if it was “powerful” enough to stroll into my consciousness again, it means it’s something I might want to talk about onstage that night. I’m more likely to do that if I tweet it again, either with the same wording or, as is often the case, with different, hopefully funnier wording.
Also, I like having people follow me on Twitter. A lot of people. The idea of getting my jokes in front of many thousands of people is just mind-bogglingly wonderful. And I really try to respect the fact that people are kind enough to follow me by posting things that are (hopefully) entertaining. I don’t tweet what I ate, or how I feel about the weather, UNLESS I can do it in a way that I think might make others laugh. So if I repeat a joke that people enjoyed in the past, after having accumulated some new followers, it is ABSOLUTELY in the hopes that new folks will enjoy my little joke offering and share it with others, thereby expanding my audience of lovely folks with whom I get to share my love of cunnilingus. If you are unschooled, that means eating pussy. Hairy pussy. On a chubby woman with saggy naturals. Maybe she’s from Peru. I don’t care.
Thank you.
