Men are good people?
I posted the following tweet earlier: Don’t be self-conscious if you have small and/or saggy boobs. I would still be grateful to suck them & make you a nice lunch. I was walking home from dropping my car off to have a flat fixed and the thought just popped into my mind. Not like, “This would be funny,” but rather just something that I really thought (and felt). If I were in a romantic situation, and I had the good fortune to get a woman out of her shirt, I would (regardless of her boob shape, size, dimensions) think “Wow! Boobs!” Then I would happily play with them, enjoying them in the moment, and also storing their image in my mind to masturbate to later.
I posted it and forgot about it. A little while later I saw it was on the front page of a website called Favstar, which measures how many people have clicked the little yellow star next to a tweet, designating it as a favorite. It was in the top position, which means that, for a second, it was the most “starred” tweet on Twitter. That made me feel nice, but then I looked at who was starring it and re-Tweeting it, and noticed that at least half the people doing so were men. I guess subconsciously, I’d imagined it would be more of a hit with women. But apparently other men must agree with me. It made me think that maybe there is hope in a world where men and women are basically attacked with advertising screaming “THIS IS WHAT YOU MUST WANT. LOOK AT THIS. BE THIS. MAX OUT YOUR CREDIT CARDS TRYING TO FUCK THIS. ANYTHING ELSE IS FAILURE AND SHIT.” Certainly, Hollywood and Madison Avenue are effective in making us all ashamed of ourselves from time to time, but my unintentional, non-scientific study suggests that there are still kind-hearted men on planet Earth who will gratefully suck on a pair of titties, regardless if they’re “VOGUE” focus-group approved or not, and then gratefully make their owner a sandwich afterward.
